As we begin the new year, there is something I love about new beginnings. However, there is also something I don't love about them. We are constantly experiencing change or transition, which is inevitable. The Greek philosopher Heraclitus is famously quoted as saying, "the only thing constant is change." As a follower of Jesus, I have a slight issue with this (ha! If you know, you know). Nevertheless, Heraclitus is right in many ways. Every year, we anticipate and often welcome change. Regardless of our excitement about change, there are real emotional difficulties that can be associated with it.
Recently, as my oldest daughter gains more independence and freedom with the ability to drive, have a job, and good friends, I find myself having to share her with the world more than before. This is causing unfamiliar emotions and behaviors in me that I wasn't prepared for. I'm experiencing grief (there will be a separate post about grieving well). I'm excited about the woman she is becoming, but at the same time, I realize that my baby girl is growing up and experiencing life apart from me. This is what her mother and I have been praying for since she was born, but even though we knew it was inevitable, navigating through it has been an interesting journey.
Over the next few weeks and months, amidst my various responsibilities such as family, school, work, self-care, and friends, I want to share a small part of what I have learned over the past 20 years about transitions. Although this list is not exhaustive, I have experienced a multitude of transitions during this time.
I went from being single to getting married.
I went from having no kids to having three kids.
I have owned three dogs, two of which have since passed away.
I have worked multiple jobs at one point to support my family.
I have experienced both job dissatisfaction and job promotions.
I have sat in the #2 chair and the #1 chair in an organization.
I have been apart of a team that successfully merged two church congregations.
In this merge I have worked with others to blend two church cultures into one.
I have been apart of team that successfully relocated a church from a suburban to an urban context.
I have been apart of team that successfully led an organization through the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic.
I have dealt with deep hurt and loss in personal relationships.
I have had the opportunity to create pathways for others to succeed.
I have pursued opportunities that appeared promising but turned out to be dead ends.
My family has faced physical and mental health crises.
I have sought the support of a mental health counselor/professional for my own well-being.
I have obtained one graduate degree and am working towards another by the end of summer '24.
I live in a context where many people observe my life and conduct.
I have been misrepresented and slandered by individuals who claimed to be allies.
I have been part of groups where I have significant influence and others where I am merely a means to an end.
Through my various experiences, I have gained valuable insights that I hope to share for the benefit of others. My intention is not to belittle anyone or elevate myself, but rather to provide a learning opportunity for those who read this. I will strive to be truthful and respectful to all individuals involved. Although it may be uncomfortable for some to read, please understand that my intent is not to shame or name specific individuals, but rather to share the thoughts and lessons I have derived from each significant experience.
I have been fortunate to have incredible individuals placed in my life who have guided and supported me. It is my aspiration to be a blessing and a guide to others, just as they have been to me. The purpose of this "Transition" series of posts is to assist those currently going through transitions or those who will be going through them in the future, ensuring their success and providing them with the best opportunities to flourish. If I can play even a small part in that, I would be truly grateful. To paraphrase a verse from the Bible, your success and flourishing are also mine.
I have around 10 post ideas that I hope you will find helpful. These posts will encourage you to have a vision for your life, develop a rule of life, learn to grieve well, honor God, honor yourself, honor those around you, forgive your enemies while maintaining good boundaries, establish your identity, and explore axioms for dealing with heavy realities in life. While I will approach these topics from a Christian worldview, I believe that even if you have no faith, you can still find valuable insights from my experiences.
I hope if you take the time read one or all of the posts as they come, you will share with me your experiences and we can encourage one another.
Time is valuable, and I appreciate your willingness to engage with me.