When considering transitions and anticipating their occurrence, I have found it incredibly valuable to have a vision for what I want to happen during the transition. A axiom attributed to the ancient king and philosopher, Solomon, said this,
“Where there is no vision, the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18a)
I've heard others refer to it as knowing "your why". By having a vision or knowing our 'why', we shift from a reactive to a proactive position. From my experience playing semi-pro American football in Europe, I learned that success in sports often comes from being proactive rather than reactive. It's more advantageous to deliver a hit in football than to absorb one. In basketball, you have to stay on your toes (proactive) because if you're on your heels (reactive), you'll be beaten every time.
It is a reality that embarking on a new transition brings about many unknowns that you are aware you will encounter (more on this in a future post). However, having a vision helps you navigate through any transition. One thing is certain: the new transition will eventually become the norm. What is now normal for you was once a new transition, whether you recognize it or not. Examples of major life transitions include starting a new job, moving to a new home, moving away for a job/school, purchasing a car, entering a new relationship, having a child (or multiple children), blending families, losing a loved one, or developing a life-changing medical condition. If you have experienced any of these, you know that at some point, they became part of your new normal.
There is a difference in how we approach these transitions. To some extent, we may have control over whether we want to enter into life transitions (such as relationships, job promotions, or buying a home). Sometimes, we do not have the luxury of being in control, and transitions are forced upon us (such as death of a loved one, death of a relationship, job loss, or health crises). In all of this, having a vision for our lives, a vision for the future, or knowing our ‘why’ empowers us during transitions instead of allowing the transitions to render us powerless.
A commonly used metaphor when discussing vision is that of a boat. A boat has a rudder that steers it. When a boat loses its rudder, it is at the mercy of the wind and waves. Our vision serves as the rudder. It does not necessarily provide forward motion, but when there is energy to propel us forward (whether it is something under our control, like an engine, or elements beyond our control, like wind and waves), we move in some semblance in the direction we desire because we are working to point ourselves in a direction of what we want to see come about in our lives.
Not even a week after I had finished my undergraduate studies, I was disappointed to find out that I did not get the job I had been hoping for. I vividly remember sitting on campus during the final week before we all went our separate ways, expressing my disappointment to my friend Andy. It was during this conversation that Andy shared with me a verse that continues to resonate with me to this day, Hebrews 11:6:
“Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that He exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” (NIV)
Andy went on to encourage me by explaining that it is often not the specific door or opportunity we choose that will bring us the greatest blessings, but rather the faith we place in God as we make our choices. Sometimes the most ideal circumstances do not present themselves, but when we understand our purpose and hold onto the vision we have for our lives, we can embrace the opportunities before us, knowing that the experiences we gain will prepare us for the unknown that lies ahead. This is where faith becomes invaluable to me. It is in this place that I know God is for me, not against me, and that whatever challenges I encounter will only serve to equip me and prepare me for what is to come. Nothing is wasted.
How do we create this vision? There are a few things that have helped me determine where I want to be at any given point in my life. I hope these suggestions will help you if you find yourself lacking vision for your own life. Here is how I have cultivated vision for my life and figured out my ‘why’:
Prayer: As a person of faith, I believe that God, through prayer, guides us through a relationship with Him. He creates opportunities that may seem like odd coincidences, supplies strength and perseverance when I feel weak and defeated, and grants wisdom when I face decisions with significant consequences. Prayer is a means of communicating with God. He is not only outside my circumstances but has been invited into them to assist me in navigating each situation to the best of my ability and for the best possible outcome, considering all factors. I acknowledge that I may not comprehend everything that happens to me, but prayer provides an opportunity to invite God into each situation and seek His guidance until a resolution is reached.
The Bible: The Bible is how God has revealed Himself to us. In it, God lays out principles and values that I, as a follower of Jesus, am convinced I want to pursue. The Bible encourages me to pursue things that are lovely, true, right, good, and promote wholeness (known as "shalom" in Hebrew) for myself, those I love, and the community around me. The Bible also reminds me that I am already loved and accepted by God; I do not need to earn it. This is especially helpful when I am rejected by others, overlooked, or confronted by my own weaknesses, frailties, and mistakes.
Learning from Others: It is important to connect with individuals who have achieved what I aspire to be. This can involve having healthy family relationships with my spouse, parents, and children, achieving financial stability, professional accomplishments, or following content creators who can help me grow in my areas of interest. With the abundance of online resources available today, it is much easier to find books, blogs, conferences, podcasts, and social media posts where these creators share their valuable insights and experiences. Additionally, it is crucial to surround myself with supportive people who genuinely want my success. These individuals will provide honest feedback, even when it's difficult, because they understand that it's for my own benefit.
Learning from Others' Mistakes: There is a saying that goes, "A wise person learns from their mistakes; a wiser person learns from someone else's mistakes." Early on in life, I learned that I can avoid a lot of heartache and difficulty by being a keen observer and learner. Similar to the previous point, as I observe many professionals in my field, I glean from the lives of countless individuals whom I admire and aspire to be like, as well as those whom I observe and say, "I do not want to follow that path." Learning from the experiences of others has been instrumental in developing a vision for where I want to be and what I want in my life.
Embrace Lifelong Learning: Commit yourself to always learning, growing, and being open to being taught by others. You do not always have to do exactly what others tell you, but past success is often a good indicator of future success. If someone is trying to teach you something based on their life experience and they have a proven track record of success and flourishing, it is wise to listen. The best leaders know how to be good followers.
Each of these five components helps create a vision for life and to know your ‘why’. They inform your desires and guide you toward where you eventually want to be. When unforeseen circumstances arise that are beyond your control, it is your vision that keeps you focused in the right direction. Your vision helps cut through the "noise" and keeps you on track. You become poised and prepared to maximize the opportunities that come your way.
I have encountered individuals who have faced challenging decisions and embarked on a transitional journey on their own. They recognized the necessity of change for personal growth, which sometimes required them to separate from their social circles and even family. Personally, I have never had to summon the courage to undertake such a task. If you have gone through a similar experience and are comfortable sharing in the comments, I would greatly appreciate learning from your perspective. Each of us possesses unique experiences and stories that can offer valuable insights to others on their own journeys.
This is not an exhaustive list, but my hope is that in this series of posts about transitions, this will provide a helpful starting point for navigating transitions successfully. As these posts continue, I will share some of my own life experiences as appropriate. My hope is that the things I have found to be true in my life will be an encouragement and a source of hope for you.
Thank you for reading.