Entering into any transition presents us with choices that can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. However, when these transitions are accompanied by hurt, grief, or confusion, they become even more complicated. Each decision feels more significant and can have a profound impact, both situationally and emotionally.
When I stepped into the role of lead pastor at my church, I was succeeding a pastor who had faithfully led for almost 30 years. He had kept the church free from scandal, loved people well, and was a faithful pastor to many. Stepping into a leadership role with such a legacy required me to be cautious and not rush into making too many changes. People generally embrace change when they feel in control, but are resistant when they are not. Therefore, I had to be careful not to overwhelm them with too many rapid changes.
While I had a vision and drive, and a God-given mission for His church, it was important for our leadership team to navigate the transition gradually. We gave ourselves a full year before embarking on any new endeavors or programs. This cautious approach generated excitement and energy throughout the church, resulting in a consistent 8% annual growth.
We began laying the groundwork for new adventures behind the scenes. Over the course of three years, we gradually implemented major components of our overall vision. The first year was dedicated to allowing the transition between pastors to settle. The second year saw the launch of an intentional ministry training program called the Kitsap School of Ministry (KSM). As we focused on KSM, we simultaneously developed a program to serve a low-income community. We believed that a healthy church is best equipped to meet the needs of those experiencing the toxic stress of poverty. While we worked on loving our neighborhood well, we also developed a praxis for potential church planters within our community and beyond. It is worth noting that in Kitsap, where I live, eighty percent of the population has no religious affiliation. We need more churches. If five percent of people came into a saving relationship with Jesus, there wouldn’t be enough room to gather for discipleship and fellowship.
These decisions, choices, transitions, and opportunities were exciting but needed to be tempered and paced to avoid overwhelming people with the amount of movement and organization involved. It took four years to see everything through, but the intentional pacing was well worth it in order to reach our desired destination.
"Go slow to go fast." This quote has resonated with me and has taken me years to fully understand and apply. It reminds me to temper myself and learn from this lesson.
Vocationally as a pastor, I often find myself intimately involved in the messy lives of others. We are all messy. Criticism, the need for improvement, and comparisons to other churches are all part of the job. Some people may turn their backs on the relationship at the first sign of difficulty or disagreement without engaging in conversation. Pastors find themselves in the middle of disputes and gossip, counseling broken marriages, and comforting those who have experienced loss. We navigate the imperfect waters of humanity, desiring to see each person thrive in their faith and longing for spiritual breakthroughs. Amidst our own brokenness and disordered desires, we strive to deepen our relationship with God.
We witness social media posts, hear whispers, and endure negativity. We constantly care for the sheep while seeking to defend against and call out the wolves. Pastors pour out their energy without always being replenished themselves. While there are immense joys to the vocation, these are some of difficulties that come with the role.
Another challenging scenario arises when intense emotions come into play balancing the above. Here is a brief synopsis of my journey over the past ten years: I began my current pastorate and underwent back surgery in 2014. The following year, my wife experienced a health crisis. I started my graduate program in 2019 and initiated a church merge with another local congregation, which concluded in 2020. Throughout 2020 and 2021, I navigated government shutdowns and coordinated remote care for our congregation due to the Covid-19 pandemic. The social-political turmoil surrounding the 2020 election and the events of January 6, 2021 also impacted me. We experienced financial difficulties stemming from the pandemic as a church. In 2023, I had a cancer scare, underwent surgery, and thankfully the mass turned out to be benign. Throughout all of these experiences, I tried to manage the aforementioned challenges. I want to clarify that this post is not meant to elicit sympathy but bring context to my life.
Reflecting on my personal journey, I realize that I have willingly stepped into many major life events. However, in the midst of emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual stress, there are those who, intentionally or unintentionally, inflict harm upon me.
I recall discussing these difficulties with my seminary professor asking him his thoughts on what I can do. His response was, "Peter, cause no harm." Those words still hold meaning for me. These moments provide opportunities for me to be transformed into the image and likeness of Jesus (and truly be conformed in the death of Jesus). It is in times of rejection, pain, and hardship that I have the ability to choose how to respond. Will my response bring honor to God or simply satisfy my desire for justice?
In times of transition, what helps me navigate well is the desire to honor God in the choices and decisions I make. Seeking to honor God provides a "true North" as I interact with people, circumstances, and emotions. While doing so, it is also important to honor myself as a beloved image-bearer of God, setting healthy boundaries to protect against toxicity in relationships. I will discuss this further in a later post.
The reason I strive to honor God in my interactions and responses, even when emotionally compromised, is the same as when I am not. Ultimately, it is about my relationship with Jesus. I seek to experience His love and grace in the present moment, being fully aware that I will continue to experience it in the future. Honoring and pleasing Him in my interactions with others is of utmost importance. This perspective helps me navigate challenging moments when I feel the urge to react in emotionally unhealthy ways. Additionally, I strive to imitate Him in various situations and circumstances, as part of experiencing His love and grace in the present.
"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." - The Gospel of Matthew 11:29
"The good life can be found when you find people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." - The Gospel of Matthew 5:11
"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." - The Apostle Paul's letter to the Ephesians 5:1-2
"Therefore God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." - The Apostle Paul's letter to the Philippians 2:9-11
This journey is not exclusive to me as a pastor. It is a journey that God calls all people to regardless of circumstance. The invitation that Jesus extends is for both those who are already following Him and those who have yet to do so. Jesus lived in a manner that invites everyone to experience, to taste and see, to follow Him, and to recognize that the fullest potential of life can be found through Him. As I read the Bible every day, I see this theme echoed throughout its unified story.
Seasons of change inevitably bring a swirling storm of emotions - excitement, grief, anger, uncertainty. I've learned firsthand that identifying what we feel in times of transition can be challenging but is crucial. We can't process emotions we can't name.
I've made it a daily practice to submit those feelings to God in prayer, journaling, or talking with a trusted friend(s). Getting them out into the light before Him allows God's peace and perspective to enter in. It also readies me to extend grace to others, rather than reacting out of raw emotion.
When someone hurts or disappoints me, my natural tendency is to withdraw or criticize them out of self-protection. Yet we all struggle with our own limitations needing compassion. My aim is to honor the innate value both they and I have as beloved children of God.
Surrounding myself with wise counselors helps tremendously when I lack vision or strength. And allowing myself to grieve losses well, rather than suppressing difficult feelings, has been crucial for my health. God often meets me in painful places with comfort and new direction if I yield it all to Him.
While still on this journey myself, I've found that seeking to mirror God's grace and patience with others lightens my load. It opens the door for brokenness to blossom into beauty.
When you face life's transitions - a new job, move, relationship status, or season of loss - the way forward can feel both exciting and scary. I've learned that in uncertain times, looking to God's unconditional love provides direction.
Even when I've stumbled through changes, reacting poorly or shutting down, God still cares for me as His beloved child. He patiently invites me to find rest and renewal in His presence.
This grace from God enables me to extend mercy to others and myself when relationships struggle during transition. I've found "I'm sorry" and "Please forgive me" can be healing balms, softening defensiveness on both sides. Rebuilding trust takes time, but makes relationships whole.
I'm discovering transitions that once overwhelmed me feel manageable when I walk through them with God. He gives me hope and strength for each phase of the journey. The path may still challenge me, but with Christ I have all I need to press on. His faithful love makes every transition a chance to grow.
Keep pressing on. You are doing well, and you are needed. I hope you find this helpful.